A letter to my compartment syndrome riddled legs

Dearest legs,

 

I thought we had an understanding.  A meeting of the so-called minds.  A settlement, if you will. 

 I, the runner, the one who dared to dream in middle age, would stop the constant pounding upon your fragile, little stumps.   I would discontinue my journey into runner-dom and quit terrorizing you daily despite every effort to fully learn and understand correct running form and distance and endurance training.

You, the 'injured party,' would take this cessation as a complete surrender on your part and quit your aching.  Quit waking me at four am.  Refrain from paining me during or immediately following my workouts.  I would change my entire lifestyle to accommodate you.  And I did. 

I, the middle aged dreaming runner stopped all running.  And it was difficult.  As any runner can surely tell you, running is addictive.  While a love/hate relationship has no doubt been developed between athlete and sport, the need to move always prevailed.  And discontinuing was, to me, much like trying to quit caffeine.  Or smoking.  Or I imagine it would be like quitting Facebook or Twitter.  Doable, but enormously uncomfortable, for lack of a better word.  I developed a relationship with the less impacting elliptical trainer.  I had an ongoing affair with spinning.  I crush on them both, but alas, that obsession like the one I had with running had not yet developed.  Until lately.  And that's when you rear your ugly head again.

Cut to me, a personal trainer.  I now truly know the importance of cross training and rest days and have passionately become engrossed in both spinning and elliptical training (or any kind of cardio so long as it's kind to my compartment syndrome riddled stumps.)  Up until now said stumps and cardio have been co-existing harmoniously.  What has changed?  I ask you, WHAT IN GODS NAME HAS CHANGED?!?!

Lately there seems to be some sort of miscommunication.  A disruption in our harmonious affair.  Suddenly I ache during workouts.  I throb after workouts.  I twinge during random times when I should be sleeping.  And in the middle of the night I wake up wondering, what did I do wrong?  How can I make it better?  Because as a new personal trainer in the best shape of her life, surgery is not an option.  Not yet, anyway.  Especially while exercise is the most important part of my brand new career.  

You win, my little flat footed stumps.  Tell me how to appease you and I shall obey. (It's not exactly as if I can send you roses or chocolate or naughty lingere!) No cardio for a couple of days?  Done!  Cold compresses?  Pain medications?  Doctor prescribed massages?  Done and done and done!  I will do anything so long as an elective surgery is not the only option.  But when your career depends on it, is it really considered 'elective?' 

 

And can it at least wait until next year's medical benefits kick in? 

How My Coffee Almost Killed Me.

One week ago today, I was on my way to the gym -- just like usual.  I had back to back clients, and in my mind, I was going over their workouts for the morning.  I had my own workout I was contemplating.  I had a rough night of sleep and was still a little groggy despite already having had some coffee.  One week ago today, I was rolling over in my mind how two doctors could have vastly differing opinions when it came to my foot health: one said my chronic compartment syndrome may have become acute -- a very dangerous condition; the other said, "infection from a bug bite," and sent me on my way for some drugs.  One week ago today I was annoyed that I would be missing The Color Run due to aforementioned compartment syndrome.  One week ago today I was looking forward to the Cape Cod vacation that was going to commence the following day.   One week ago today I stopped at the Dunkin Donuts drive thru, just as I always do, to give me that extra little something I usually require after a bad night of sleep.

One week ago today, my large iced hazelnut - extra light with skim - (a personal favorite!) tipped over on me from my cup holder as I went around a turn I always take on the way to the gym - before I ever even had a sip! - and in an effort to steady said coffee before it spilled all over me and the front of my car, I lost control of the vehicle and smashed it into a telephone pole, moving that pole by about an inch.

One week ago today my life was spared.

After smashing my car into that pole, a stupid, stupid move on my part, I stepped out of my car, called my husband, and called 9-1-1.  The very fact that I was able to step out of my car on my own was a miracle.  The fact that I was completely unharmed with the exception of a seat belt injury is practically unfathomable.  I thank God for this every day since.  More, I thank God that my daughter wasn't with me.  Or my husband.  And I thank God that my carelessness didn't end up veering in the other direction, killing or injuring an innocent passerby.

So much media attention today is spent slapping the wrists of those drivers reckless enough to text while driving.  (I have always been terrified of so much as SNEEZING while driving my car, but will admit that while stopped in traffic even I have picked up my phone to see who was texting me.)  NEVER AGAIN.  Never again will I munch on my post-workout snack from behind the wheel, no matter how hungry I may be.  Never again will I futz with my GPS when it's being annoying. Never again will I continue an argument with my precious child.  NOT FROM BEHIND THE WHEEL OF MY MOVING CAR.

One week ago today "just to be sure," I was put in a neck brace, strapped to a backboard, and placed into an ambulance so that I can be taken to the hospital for x-rays.  Scary stuff, my friends.  There, I was informed that eating and drinking while driving causes more accidents than cell phones do.  I will go a step further and say that getting behind the wheel while still wiping sand from my eyes probably wasn't my smartest move ever either.  But all in the name of exercise, right?!

I am all for early morning workouts.  I am not a religious person, or a preachy person, but I fully understand how lucky I am and for that I will always be grateful.  You've heard it before: never take each day for granted as it might be your last.  Yet somehow we all manage to do it.  I believe living a healthy lifestyle is vital to an enjoyable life.  But you need to have a life to enjoy, first.

So I beg of you: live your life.  Do what you need to do every day to try to make your life an enjoyable one.  But remember that you do not get forever on this journey.  And make each journey a CAREFUL one.